SCENE 1: EVIL PLAN CREATED

(start of video)
Video	Audio
Scene: Darth Vader is sitting at the table, with his lightsaber in front of him. Action: Chair slides from center to left of screen. Vader looks confused. Chair slides back from right to center. Again, confused.	Mitch does vader breathing voices
Video: An assembly of out-takes and fun intern bonding stuff, culminating in the shot of all the interns and the title. This will last probably less than four seconds.	Music: Some sort of theme. Maybe Oakwood Blues. Ask Todd.

SCENE 1: GENESIS OF EVIL PLAN
Camera: Still picture of a door with a sign "Evil Plans Meeting Room" On the door Lower Third Text: "2055 AD, Dr. Evil's secret lair"	Music: Ominous Vader-theme music starts
Scene: Dr. Evil sits at the head of the table, in a Darth Vader mask. Dr. Evil is wearing Vader mask and cape and black gloves. Also his henchman is there, but I don't have a clue how he looks. Maybe like Darth Maul, with lightsaber and red and black facepaint, or mask. Also the minions are there. They are sitting around the table. (film tip: Dr Evil must overact, overplay his part.)	Dr. Evil: (stands up). "This is the plan. Compaq Systems Research Center, back around the end of the twentieth century…" (camera: screen fills with satellite images from terraserver.com click-click-clicking as they zoom in. use sound from 35mm camera shutter)
	"… a world-leading leading research group that was bursting with good ideas. (camera back on Dr.E.) You will travel back in time, steal their most profitable technology, and bring it back to me. You will be disguised as summer interns. They will let you in without resistance." "Henchman?" (Dr. E. sits down).
Have a projector to project the first few shots of what follows. Then take over full screen with them:	Henchman: (stands up) "I have identified the year 1999 for your internship.
Scenes of Oakwood luxury. Shots from the party. Also take camera into an apartment to show off the kitchen and bedroom and stuff. Use these as establishing shots.	"There was some beaureacratic screw-up. The interns got luxurious apartments that would have been better suited for visiting CEOs.
Jazz music plays.	"Swimming pools, enormous bedrooms, Jacuzzi, tennis, basketball, gym. We've found this archive footage of a party at Oakwood. Acquaint yourselves with it. The swimming pool will be your time portal.
	"Get on with it!"
Scene: the interns lining up by the pool. It is daytime. They are all dressed in clothes.	One intern to all others: (ad-lib) "You'll experience some disorientation".
Action: Interns all lock arms, and all cannonball into the pool together, shouting.	All Interns: "Geronimo!"
Some sort of visual effect as each jumps in, to indicate time travel. Probably a swirling into a dot thing. Use multiple cameras to get shots from several angles. Repeat the shot with them in swimming costume just in case.	Music: Time travel
Action, camera: It is night time. They pop out of the pool, in 1999. Accomplish this by having them jump, backwards, into the pool. And reverse it.

SCENE 2: YOU CAN'T WORK HERE
(Scene: the interns are druggy, hippy looking, smoking joints. They arrive at Compaq by some means of transport, which will be the same transport as they use to get away in the end. We need joints and costumes and transport.)	Music: Psychedelic theme music. Hendrix, Purple Haze
Camera: Shows them walking down the street outside the Compaq building. Shows them go in to reception.	Intern: "Hey, man. We're, like, the intern dudes here to steal your ide--oops! to work for the summer."
	Receptionist: "What?! Like that? You're all druggies. We can't let you use our computer system like that. Come into the building, sit down and start work by all means. But you're not getting your passwords until you're cleaned up." (ad-lib)

SCENE 3: TOUR OF COMPAQ
(camera: monologue by Sharon about internships, or about drug tests. Hopefully there'll be something funny in it.)	(establishing shot: the outside of Compaq.) (Music: Oakwood blues)
(filming tip: this will be filmed at the same time as the previous reception scene. We have to make sure the actors bring a change of clothes with them. Maybe just a shirt. )	(Scene: the interns are smartly dressed and clean-shaven, holding their drug tests. The envelopes have 'drug test: ok' written on them in big writing. Sharon greets them. Music: classical theme to show how smartly they are dressed.)
	Sharon: "Hello everyone. So you're the new interns? Come with me and I'll give you a tour of the building." (remember cue cards!)
Action: Sharon opens door. Interns lean to look in. Camera looks over their shoulders	Sharon: "This way. Here's the forum, where we hold center meetings..
Camera: Shows inside of room, but from the same perspective	Mike Burrows: (Doing the Sma Grodna song.)
Action: Sharon closes the door quickly	Sharon: "Oops! "That was Mike... umm... optimizing Altavista. Anyway, follow me and I'll show you some more. (Must square with Mike).
Camera: Shot of door of Laurent Moll's office, showing his name. Action: Sharon opens the door. Interns lean to look in. Laurent wearing Viking helmet, swinging morning star, roars and jumps up in his seat. Sharon shuts door quickly. Maybe as a purely incongruous shot to show Ravi, say, tied and hung up on the door. (Filming tip: have one take looking over their shoulders so you get continuity with shutting the door. Have a second take inside the office looking at Laurent. Have a third take inside the office looking face-on at the interns. We'll need to find a Laurent replacement.)
Camera: Show the interns in the corridor. Action: Leslie Lamport roller-blades down corridor, almost knocking someone over.	Intern 1: (whispers to another intern) "Say, wasn't that the Unabomber?"
Camera: As he whispers, camera shows a still of two portraits side by side, of Leslie and the Unabomber.	Intern 2: "No, of course not!
Camera: Shows Stefan's office, showing his name.	Sharon: "Here's Stefan. He's working on the miniature portable jukebox."
Sharon opens door. Camera shot of Stefan inside playing air guitar wildly, one foot on a table, the other on a chair, like a rock star, with really loud rock music	SFX: Loud rock music cuts in abrubptly as soon as door is opened. Sharon closes the door and the music stops abruptly.
Shot of interns walking away down corridor. Maybe look at them head-on and back-on.
Scene: Lyle's office. He is lying on the floor in a state of meditation. Camera: shows interns come into the room.	Intern: (worried, shocked Must get someone to overact, overdramatise, ad-lib. Like an Italian or Jewish mama.) "What's wrong? What happened? Is he dead? Oh my God they killed Kenn—Lyle!"
	Sharon: (Straightforward, deadpan, tongue-in-cheek. Remember cue-cards!) "No, Lyle's just meditating. He's working on geometrical zen mathematics. Next week we think he's going to reach enlightenment. That's the end of the tour."
A volleyball game is being played on a volleyball net up the corridor. As Sharon speaks, a volleyball flies into someone's face out of nowhere. Cormack comes to pick it up..	Cormack: "Sorry."
Camera: Show Cormack walking back to the game and then playing, as Sharon starts to speak	Sharon: (ad-lib a bit) "Oh! I forgot to say: every Tuesday there's a volleyball game. If you have any questions, come ask me, or your floor manager, or your supervisor. Computer passwords are at your desks, and to telnet out of here to get to your email back home you'll need to get a calculator key from Richard Schedler."

SCENE 4: SECURITY PROTOCOLS
	Monologue: (this audio happens in the background of the following video clips). Richard interview. Talking about security and why it's important. (He's really unhelpful.)
Scene: The front corridor. Lucian and Silvija go past and steal a patent or a few on their way.
Scene: Two interns, or more, in their cubicles. Intern 1 is sitting at his desk pressing buttons randomly, desperately, in frustration.	Introductory voice, perhaps, of Richard Schedler, explaining why telnet security is needed. Intern 1: (turns to other intern) "How on earth do you use this stupid thing? I want to telnet back to [name-of-own-university]!"
Note: This telnet scene should be edited to something very short. Camera: While the telnet scene happens, we can cut to periodic shots of the patent board, with each shot of it showing fewer and fewer patents.	Intern 2: "Oh, it's easy. Have you keyed in your national insurance number? Good. Then your date of birth." (SFX: tap tap tap buttons). "Now type in the factors of any seven digit even prime number. That's it. Finally click your heels together three times and repeat: 'There's no telnet like home, there's no telnet like home..." (fade sound out of intern2, into intern 1)
	Intern 1: "...there's no telnet like home." (He goes into a euphoric/robotic state as he repeats it. He fades into never-never land.) (Shot of screen: pops up a big flashing 'you are connected' box.)
Scene: The front corridor again. Lucian and Silvija are leaving with a pile of patents, discussing selling them to Sun.	Again the voice of Richard Schedler: "… to my knowledge there has never been anything stolen from SRC…"

SCENE 5: FOUND ANYTHING GOOD?
	(Have a monologue with Sharon describing the intern monopoly game, and how it's important for all the interns to speak to researchers a lot.)
(Scene: a secret, furtive meeting of the interns. It is in the basement. Dimly lit. There are chairs arranged around in a circle. Everyone whispers. It looks back-alley like)	Intern 1: (Looks around furtively before he starts) " We've all infiltrated projects and talked with the researchers about what they're doing. Are there any promising technologies, that we can steal for Dr. Evil?"
(camera: shoot this scene twice, once with the camera around the outside of the circle, going around to look at the speaker over the shoulders of the others, once on the inside of the circle. Then we can cut between the two).	Intern 2: (ad-lib this) " TLA won't be good. It's logic. Too theoretical. No money in that."
	Intern 3: (ad-lib) "ESC isn't going anywhere--it's static! Anyway, we all know that Java was dropped in favor of Modula-4 in 2001."
	Intern 4: (ad-lib) "Profiling the alpha isn't going to help. The project only makes money for Compaq, not for anyone else."
	Intern 1: "This is hopeless. We haven't found any really profitable technologies. What are we going to tell Dr Evil?"
Action: Intern2 empties a big back full of monopoly tokens onto the floor.	Intern 2: "And what are we going to do with all these trinkets? They kept giving these to us whenever we talked to them."
	Sound: we hear Alyssa's voice. Presumably she's walking past in the basement. She calls out "Center Meeting, Center Meeting!"

SCENE 6: MILLICENT
It is the center meeting. We will need to film a real center meeting, and film Roy after this real center meeting in his same clothes. We will have to look up the video of Steve's millicent talk and ask him to come in one day wearing the same clothes.	Roy Levin: (He starts the meeting with an administrative announcement.) "Some of you might have got an email from me this morning. I know it's tedious, but we need it for IP accounting. I need all of you on the Altavista project to write a complete list of every idea you've ever had since starting at SRC. Also, write down every idea that you're ever going to have at SRC as well, so we don't need to repeat this exercise. Steve, over to your talk on Millicent."
Steve gives his talk on Millicent. We're going to have to do a fair bit of cutting and editing to find good, efficient bits of it. Be sure to include these particular scenes from his talk: "How does the profit curve go?" and "How much money to you make on each transaction?"	Audience member: "So all you need is for every man, woman and child on this planet to buy a background each for millicent to make a fortune?"
(film tip: this will be an audience member who was in the original talk, and who was sitting near the back of the auditorium. We will get the same person to come in wearing the same clothes. Lance would be good.)
(film tip: for the next cut we'll need to bring a DVD player and screen, and we'll need the talk to have already been done previously. Timetabling issue! It would be good to preprocess this to make it wobbly.)
Scene: We've been showing clips of the center meeting in 1999. Meanwhile, Dr Evil is watching exactly this on a screen in his own room. Somehow we need a good transition effect between the actual center meeting, and Dr Evil in the future watching it as it happens. (Get Bud's ideas on this transition.)	Dr Evil: (watching the talk, remotely, on a TV screen) "Aha!" (camera zooms into his face, which is actually a mask.) "Aha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha."
(then back into the present. We'll switch between present and future a bit from here.)	Steve: "These are the financial backers we have so far.
(points to slide listing the financial people. We should get his original slides from the talk).	"We still need an someone to buy millicent itself, and take responsibility for it.."
(he points to the screen. Use the same pointing device as the original talk.)	"We're trying to persuade these companies."
	Dr Evil: (waves his hand. Speaks in the Jedi voice of control). "Those are not the buyers you're looking for."
	Steve: (looks confused) "Actually, these are not the buyers we're looking for."
	Dr Evil: " You have found someone else."
	Steve: "We have found someone else." (He goes to computer to type something in. On the projection screen, everything is deleted and it just says 'Buyer: Dr Evil')

SCENE 7: INFILTRATE THE JUKEBOX
Back to the furtive meeting room. There are bits of electronics on the table. Shoot this at the same time as before. On a flip chart, show close-up circuit diagram highlighting the core.	Intern 1: "This is the plan. Dr Evil has already purchased the Millicent project. You are going to infiltrate the Juke Box development and insert a subliminal message in its core."
	"Every time someone plays a song on the juke box it's going to secretly persuade them to purchase a wallpaper.
Next page of flip-chart: shows line from core out to exhaust port.	"The Juke Box code is very heavily guarded, but we believe that a small team of interns can penetrate its defenses."
Next page of flip chart: a 3d wireframe showing the outside of the jukebox, with exhaust port highlighted.	"The target area is here. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the audio jack."
Final page: overall schematics with highlighted line and explosion, and source code	"The source code is protected so you'll have to edit the binaries."
	Intern 2: "That's impossible, even for a computer!"
	Intern 3: "It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two millimeters."
	Everyone: (Looking at intern 3) "What??" (Intern 3 shrugs)
Cut to corridor. Two (or more?) interns dressed like spies or saboteurs. Maybe with fluffy animal slippers, oven gloves, and large washing-up gloves on their heads. One of them with his back to the wall looks up and down the corridor, sees that it's clear.	Intern1: "It's all clear".
Intern1 motions Intern2 to go ahead. Intern2 tiptoes into an office with exaggerated quiet footsteps. The office has a big sign on it: "Jukebox development: top secret." We need a lot of costumes for this scene. Ad-lib some side gags maybe.
A second later, Intern2 comes out, gives thumbs up.	Intern2: "We did it!"
Have some funny scene with the interns escaping. First show them running down a corridor. Then getting knackered old bikes (with little wheels?) and cycling them away down the street outside Compaq. Or pogo sticks or scooters or something funny. I don't have firm ideas on how to do this. Ad-lib a lot with funny people. A road-closed sign on one of the corridors so they have to screech brakes! Reverse.	Load dynamic music cuts in at this point to propel the action.

SCENE 8: END CREDITS
Time travel effects for each intern to pop out of the pool. Do this with film in reverse. It is daytime in the future.
The camera pans around. We see Dr Evil. He is wearing a backgrounded cloak. We need to get the blue fabric for this.	All Interns: (To each other as they notice what's around them.) "What the...?!"
See an intern face-on as he looks up to the sky. Show sky. It is backgrounded. Hopefully we can do this using bluescreen! We'll need to prepare bitmaps to use for the background.	(Put some ad-libbing into this bit. Surely someone will think of something funny to say.)
All the meanwhile the credits are rolling up. And 'buy background' subliminal message is interspersed in them. List each person's name exactly once in the credits. The messages get more and more prominent until eventually, at the end, they fill the screen with the flashing big bold lettered injunction to buy backgrounds! The end.